REMEMBERING MY DAD's CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) SUPER DAYS @ PINE REST HOSPITAL

Monday, April 27, 2026

In the essay "The World Needs Complainers," the author argues that complaining is not merely a social nuisance but a vital tool for maintaining quality, justice, and emotional health. The text breaks down the necessity of complaining into three primary spheres: the marketplace, personal relationships, and spiritual life.

## 1. The Marketplace: A Tool for QualityThe author posits that complaining is a "weapon" against the "encroaching evil of indifference."
Accountability: Assertive complainers act as a check against slipshod manufacturing and poor service.
Tactics: While the author suggests starting "sweetly and gently," they acknowledge that some situations require "increasing the heat" or legal action to get results.
Moral Duty: It is framed as a "God-given duty" to block the deterioration of high-quality workmanship.
## 2. Personal & Professional Well-beingComplaining is presented as a cornerstone of authentic human connection.
Friendship: A true comrade is someone with whom we can "let it all out" without tip-toeing. The author notes that friendships must be reciprocal; if one person listens but never "gripes," the relationship becomes unbalanced and may falter.
Counseling: The author suggests that the "busy-ness of counselors" arises from a societal embarrassment over complaining. If we cannot protest to those around us, we end up paying professionals to listen.
## 3. Spiritual PermissionA significant portion of the essay draws on religious themes, specifically the Biblical Psalms.
Divine Examples: The author cites Psalms 88, 44, and 142 to show that God welcomes "aggravation and frustration."
Authenticity: Crying out to God is presented as a healthy alternative to the "proper Christian conduct" of acting strong and "above it all."
## 4. Raising the Next GenerationThe essay concludes by challenging the common parental advice: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Empowerment: Instead of silencing children, parents should help them "refine their capacities for speaking up."
Confidence: By listening to a child's protests, adults help them realize they can influence the world and combat unfairness.
The Mission: Training "effective complainers" is described as a high calling to save the world from self-destruction.
Key Takeaway: The author rebrands the "complainer" not as a whiner, but as an assertive truth-teller who refuses to accept "shoddiness" in products, relationships, or society at large.



 

"Prayer: Old Approach, New Wonders" by Larry Dossey, M.D. (published in The Quest, Summer 1990),

This article, titled "Prayer: Old Approach, New Wonders" by Larry Dossey, M.D. (published in The Quest, Summer 1990), explores the concept of the "nonlocal mind" through the lens of prayer and medical science.

Dossey argues that human consciousness is not confined to the brain or body but is an infinite, shared quality that can influence physical reality regardless of distance.

1. The Core Concept: Nonlocal Mind

The author distinguishes between two ways of viewing the self and the world:

Locality: The traditional view that things (including our "ego" or "self") exist only in a specific place and time. This view suggests that for prayer to work, it would have to travel like a radio signal, losing strength over distance.
Nonlocality: The idea that consciousness is omnipresent and "here-and-now" everywhere. Dossey asserts that "the self is local and God is not." When the mind operates through prayer, it enters a nonlocal state where distance and time are irrelevant.

2. Scientific Evidence: The Byrd Study

Dossey cites a landmark 1988 study by cardiologist Randolph Byrd at San Francisco General Hospital to support his claims. The study involved 393 heart patients in a double-blind test:

Method: One group was prayed for by home prayer groups; the other was not. Neither the patients nor the doctors knew who was in which group.
Results: The prayed-for group was five times less likely to require antibiotics and three times less likely to develop pulmonary edema.
Distance Factor: The study found that prayer was just as effective whether the person praying was in the same city or thousands of miles away, suggesting it does not behave like a physical "energy."

3. The Spindrift Experiments

The article details experiments by an organization called Spindrift, which used simple biological systems (like rye seeds and yeast) to test the effects of prayer:

Stress and Prayer: They found that prayer worked best when the organism was under stress (e.g., seeds placed in salt water).
Directed vs. Nondirected Prayer:
- Directed: Praying for a specific outcome (e.g., "make the seeds grow").
- Nondirected: An open-ended approach (e.g., "Thy will be done" or "the best possible outcome").
Key Finding: Nondirected prayer was quantitatively much more effective, sometimes yielding results twice as great as directed prayer. Dossey calls this "genuine spiritual healing."

4. Philosophical and Religious Foundations

Dossey connects his "nonlocal" theory to the "Perennial Philosophy" (as described by Aldous Huxley), which suggests a common mystical thread across all religions. He references:

Christianity: Meister Eckhart and St. Catherine of Genoa.
Taoism: The Chuang Tzu.
Buddhism: The concept of the Dharma-body.
Islam: The poet Kabir.
Native American Traditions: Black Elk and Luther Standing Bear.

5. Ecological Implications: Saint Francis

The author highlights Saint Francis of Assisi as the "Patron Saint of Nonlocal Mind." He argues that modern ecological crises stem from our sense of "separateness" from nature. By recognizing a shared, nonlocal consciousness with all living things (as St. Francis did), we can move from "dominion" over the earth to a sense of kinship and healing.

Summary Conclusion

Dossey concludes that the "fixation on flowing time and history" is a psychological barrier. To truly heal, we must break through the illusion of the isolated ego and recognize that at a fundamental level, the soul and the "Godhead" are one and the same.

re Making a Hospital Visit (by JK)

click here

Sunday, April 26, 2026

going thru some old files I notice the announcement of the birth of Matt Alferink

these were my dad's files (a lot from Pine Rest) (dad died in Feb 2026 by my side actually at the age of 90). But the reason the name Matt Alferink caught my eye was that first, his dad was a CRC pastor who knew my dad. But 2nd, his sister, Michelle, wanted to date me, not because she liked me, but because she was a rival of her friend Kathy Lawrence, who I was sort of "seeing". Michelle & Kathy attended east Kentwood together and then went to Calvin College. Jerry Alferink, the pastor, worked in churches Redlands (CA) (where my brother lives now) and also in Denver CO (where my aunt attended church at that time). By the time I was in college Michelle was there as well. I don't remember how I met her and didn't know that her "like" towards me was feigned just because of her rivalry with Kathy. So I think I only "dated" if you want to call it that, Michelle once. Later, when I was at work (at Pine Rest of all places, as a mental health worker) I called her house to talk to her (still thinking she was a possible relationship, or maybe just a friend) and her brother answered (Matt) and said Michelle was not there at the moment. I must have said "Where is she?" - meaning it innocently- thinking he might give me some information about when she might be back and I could call back etc. I forgot how our call ended but apparently he relayed my call to her and apparently made it sound different than what I intended. Still at work, I received a call back from her and she just screamed and hollered angrily at me about "How dare I ask where she is... " etc etc etc. I was stunned. This is little Calvin College Grand Rapids- mostly innocent decent "college kids" including me. . This was also way before dating apps and cell phones etc. This is old school stuff. And it's all the more bizarre now knowing that her dad and my dad were friends or colleagues. I've seen other file material where her dad speaks fondly of my dad as a colleague or CPE supervisor etc. And we even have a Christmas card in our family photo album from the Alferinks when Matt & Michelle were much younger. Of course I didn't know these family connections at the time. But I wonder if she did. Or was this purely something about her rivalry with Kathy ? Whatever it was, it was unethical to treat me the way she did. I resented it for a long time but have forgiven Matt & Michelle in my heart. And now it makes a funny story to tell of the "not so good ol days" ha ha. God bless them. .